What you gain by leaving your town/city

Counting my hometown, I have lived in about seven different cities, in two of which I lived alone, or well, with roommates but without knowing practically anyone in the city.

I think leaving to live in another place on your own at some stage of your life is something good for you and I highly recommend it. Here are some of the reasons that occur to me right now:

• You meet many people. I think this is the best part. Despite considering myself introverted, I have friends in many places: All over Mexico and the United States and even in more distant countries like Canada, Japan, or Dubai. With most of them, I have the confidence to ask if I can spend a few days at their houses 😅.

• You know many cultures. Even within the same country, the culture is very different between the North and the South. You know all kinds of customs, eat food of many varieties and learn a lot. If you are an entrepreneur this can serve you to implement ideas in your place of origin.

• You realize what can be improved in your hometown. I am from Sinaloa, that says a lot about the problems my state and my city have, but believe me when I tell you that before leaving there I didn’t know those problems were so serious, and upon returning I realized that many remain “blind” to them. When I really realized it was during a student exchange I did in Castellón de la Plana, Spain, a city approximately the same size as Culiacán, the capital of Sinaloa. We were going out for dinner and asked if it was dangerous to go out at night. A teacher told us no, that the most dangerous thing that had happened in the last two years was the robbery of a jewelry store when it was closed. Being Sinaloan and Mexican in general I thought it was a joke, but another teacher nodded confirming. At that moment I realized the gravity of the problem.

• You become independent. I can say that I do not depend on anyone to survive. It doesn’t mean that I don’t need anyone, but for an introvert like me leaving was a blessing. I learned to cook, to do all kinds of paperwork, and although I don’t feel very comfortable per se, to ask, inquire and engage in conversations with all kinds of people when I need it. I also learned to be responsible.

• You learn to value (and save). Being away I learned that family is the most important thing (NOTE: This is my opinion). I also learned that material things are not so much. Since I have moved a lot I always try to have few things, since when moving I have to give them away or sell them cheaply, so I have always had only the essentials to live comfortably, and I have learned that I don’t need more (only books, those I do regret leaving 😓). An extra is learning to travel light and be practical.

• You have freedom. You don’t have to account to anyone, even in simple things. Today you can go out for a walk aimlessly, eat a hamburger because you craved it, or go to the movies in the morning to see the movie you want. Or if you want, today you don’t make your bed. When you are in your city you almost always have to account to someone for what you do.

Now, not everything is pretty, there are also some disadvantages.

• You are alone. Even if you have roommates there is always a feeling of loneliness. The family is far away and in case of an emergency they cannot be quickly with you. It makes you feel vulnerable. Also, it is very difficult to make friends in other cities where everyone already has their groups, especially in other countries.

• You lose many contacts. When you move, you will never see some friends again, and when you visit your hometown for one or two weeks there is not enough time to see them all. What I have done to preserve friendships is to keep a friendship maintenance agenda, but it is never the same.

• I am neither from here nor from there. I have a love/hate relationship with Culiacán. When I am not there I miss it, I love the authenticity and warmth of its people that I haven’t found anywhere else, but being there the idiosyncrasy of its culture (for example its contempt for authority and rules and its admiration for narcoculture) despairs me. At a certain moment, you feel that you belong neither to the new city nor to your hometown. Everyone goes on with their life and when you return on vacation you realize that your friends already have other interests. It is never the same, although there are friends who seem as if you hadn’t stopped seeing them.

Even so, I think it is worth it and I highly recommend doing it, if not for a long time, at least for a couple of months.